And Why Dont I Just Stop....AND WHY CAN'T I

It feels as though things are out of my control. I don't know how to stop this cycle I'm in. My psychiatrist is away for this coming week and I wont see her until the 23rd April. I feel as though I am stuck. I feel completely stuck. Even today as I ate chocolate to an excess that I wanted to stop and yet at the same time keep going. I didn't even know what I really wanted.