Will It End.......?

So this morning fat ol' me had:
an apple
a bowl of cereal will full cream milk
two pieces toast with butter
a bread roll with peanut butter
four pieces cheese
(all was purged)

I went out with a friend for lunch I had:
1/2 small fries and 6 nuggets from mcdonalds
Magnum Ice-cream
(purged)

got home had:
4 Picnic IceCreams
1 white chocolate Bueno bar
1 Family block Chocolate
Pack of Tim Tams
(purged)

I have been feeling more and more like killing myself lately, it keeps going 'round an 'round in my head. I don't know what to do.